Wednesday, September 14, 2011

FROM =( TO =)

aluu n assalam~


bukan men panjang n beso lagi aluu nya hahaa..
howdy everybody??
miss me?? aww, tharunya ada yg rindu.. (perasan lebih)
dah berhabuk blog nih, kene vacuum byk nih hahaa..

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri,
Maaf Zahir dan Batin ^_^

huk aloh, dah nak abis raya bru nk ucap..
tp raya sebulan, smpat lg kan ekekeee..
apa mimpi tiba2 nk update blog nih??
hahaa, biasa la.. mood nk update dah datang..

sebelum nih, ak ada post cerita yg ak karang sendiri.. (nak gak bgtau)
well, english ak xbrapa nk power..
bila baca2 balik, byk grammar mistakes hahaa..
dat time, mmg mood gloomy ak..
mood layan perasaan smpi org kata ak da susut..(ehh ada kaitan ka? XD)
ak pnah ckp ngan salah sorang member ak..
time tuh dia pun duk layan perasaan gak..
ak ckp ngan dia, skrg ak dah penat layan perasaan..
siyesly, mmg buat ak xda mood + xmbermaya + xbsmangat + letih..
so, ak pun da decide xmo gloomy2 lg dah..
kalu terdetik pun, xmo drag lama2.. siyesly meletihkan..
so sapa2 nak jd zombie tuh, gi la layan perasaan tuh hahaa..
nak sentiasa happy + gelak2 + enjoy, (salah 1 tips awet muda ekekee..)

so, skrg pun tgh usaha nk cari template yg ceria2 sikit..
nk uat template sendiri, ak xkreatip hahaa..
nk tukar segala element2 gloomy kepada element ceria plak ^^
even post kali nih byk gelak2 kan? hahaa.. (tuh, gelak lg XD)
walaupun rupa ku garang (ada org kata camtuh), tetapi ak sebenarnya mmg suka n cepat gelak..(dan kememeh)

(otak blank sekejap.. dah xtau apa nk tulis lg nih)

3 words for today:

no more i'm-just-a-normal-girl-with-fragile-heart girl..
weeeee~ XD

(korang mesti pelik n kira balik perkataan dalam ayat ak td kan? kan? ekeekee..)

orait, tata n assalam~

Music Playlist at

suka lagu nih?? tp yg dipasang nih bunyi dia len sikit..
download sini kalu nak lgu nih ^^

Monday, May 23, 2011

I'm Just A Simple Girl with a Fragile Heart =)

“Two chocotops please..” I ordered to a lady cashier in McDonalds..

“Don’t you ever get bored with chocotops??” asked a girl who was standing beside me while staring at me..

“Nope.. I just can’t live without them hahaa..” I laughed, handed a cash to the lady cashier..

“Yeah right.. Thanks for introducing me to them..” she giggled as she licked the ice-cream..

“My pleasure.. You know, somehow, enjoying this ice-cream really makes me happy, makes me to forget all my problems, well not all.. Whenever I get stressed, I’ll get myself a chocotop.. Hey, are you listening??

“Huh?? Ohh sorry.. I was thinking on a place we should go next..” she was a little stunned after I snapped a finger in front of her face.. She was day-dreaming again..

“Your ice-cream is melting.. Here..” I handed a tissue to her.. She looked gloomy again..

“Thanks..” she licked the melting ice-cream around the ice-cream cone, wiped some of them from her hand..

“Thinking about that thing again?? We don’t want to spoil our hangout with those kinds of faces and moods you hear me?? ”

“Hehee sorry Tee.. Don’t worry bout me.. I’m much stronger than my old Eff now.. Want mine??” she offered her half-eaten ice-cream..

“You wanted to please me with that one?? Sorry.. It’s not working.. Though it is my favourite..” I looked away, pretending mad at her..

“Okay okay.. I’ll buy a new one.. Don’t be mad..Please..” she begged..

“Then, don’t do that again okay?? And no need to buy another one.. Come on, let’s go..”

“Before that..can I go to the bakery?? My mum asked me to buy her some hotdog breads and croissant..”

“Sure.. those smell from the bakery really makes me hungry.. Guess I’ll grab some..”


Eff is my really really close friend.. People might misjudge her by her looks. You might think she’s arrogant.. scary.. bad-tempered.. unfriendly.. fierce etc.. But once you have befriend her, I’m sure you will take back all your words.. Not just me, most of her friends saying the same thing too.. She’s actually friendly and happy-go-lucky type.. She likes to laugh and likes to make people laugh.. Very simple type..You could say she’s a problem-free girl.. But, I know she’s not..She can hide from others, but not me..

It’s all started when Eff wishes she had special person.. Everyone wants a partner right? You would think I’m bluffing if I told you this.. She has no boyfriend for almost 19 years.. “Arghh she’s wasting her 19 years of being single??”, “How the h*ll she managed to live on that way??”,“Abnormal girl..” I don’t blame her though.. I KNOW her well and I don’t think that she’s wasted her life like that.. She’s just being cautious.. I still remember when I asked her about getting a partner..

“I am a very loyal person..Once I have him as my partner, I won’t find anyone else and I won’t leave him.. He will leave me instead..”

I’m sure you will understand why she is still single.. She’s quite famous in our class.. She’s close to every single member in our class.. Her cheerfulness and friendly personality makes everyone likes her.. Since she doesn’t have any partner yet, one of the boys of our class, known as a teasing expert, recommended someone to her.. Yeah, sort of matchmaking.. Surprisingly, the whole class knows about it and it became the hottest gossip.. To Eff, it’s just nothing but a humorous gossip.. She didn’t go mad but enjoyed the gossip instead..

“If not because of this gossip, this class would be dull isn’t it? Just by looking their smiling faces.. Their laughter.. It’s enough to make me happy.. So, I don’t mind..” she smiled..


“Wow!” I shouted spontaneously..

“Syhhh…” she puts her finger on her lips, asking me to quiet down..

“Woops.. Sorry.. Are you serious??”

“Yup.. Here..” she nodded and tried to hide her blushing face.. She gave me her hand phone.. A picture of a specky guy with a fair skin on the screen.. My mouth was widely-open, ready for my screaming moment..

“Eff.. may I..?”

“In there please..” she giggled as she pointed a pillow near me..


Oh My God!! I was too excited that time, I wanted to shout.. I covered my face with a pillow and shouted as loud as possible.. At least, nobody heard my screaming of joy. Eff was laughing.. That guy in her hand phone is her new boyfriend.. Reez’s the name.. He’s lucky to have her, I thought to myself.. I really hope that they won’t be like any other couples.. They’re happy together, just by looking at her, I just knew that they are happy especially Eff.. She is so excited when she talks about him.. I can see that he’s a nice and likes to make her laugh..

They’re not like other couples I see.. Abnormal couple?? Hahaa.. Well, most couples won’t left their hand phones in silent.. Like 24/7 SMS-ing each other, calling every single day.. But I don’t see her like that.. I saw her sending messages but no reply.. But I saw her smile whenever she receives notification saying “Message Delivered”.. It’s not that I’m stalking her hand phones.. I know by hearing the sound from her hand phone.. She was so excited whenever she received a call from him, even though it’s just a 1 minute call.. Just like other couples, they do meet each other.. Her first real date.. She was nervous.. As usual, she’s putting on a very simple clothes with no makeup - only with her moisturizers and lip balm.. She was so happy and excited when she got back from her date. They rarely meet each other. She’s busy with her study while her partner is busy with his work. They only meet once in a month and sometimes in two months. Amazing isn’t it?? I’m sure some of you out there might wondering how can she be so tough..

“Hey.. Are you okay with this kind of relationship??”

“What makes you ask me like that?”

“Well.. You know.. Don’t you feel like want to be with him all the time??”

“I do.. But I have to understand.. Reez’s working. The only time we can really contact each other is from 11pm and above.. Once he reached home, for sure we’ll be on the phone hehee..” she smiled as she looked on her hand phone..

“Ohh okay.. You did send him messages everyday right? Did he reply?”

“Well.. Most of the time, he didn’t. He’ll reply after his working hour..”

“And you’re okay with that??”

“I don’t mind if he didn’t reply my messages.. As long as the message is delivered, I know he will read it and it’s enough already. I try to limit myself.. But sometimes, he’ll sleep as soon he arrives at home hehee.. At first is kinda hard for me, but now I’m getting used to it..”

“What if you really really need him?”

“I’ll just text him saying that I need him.. Then, he will stay up and waiting for my call or he’ll call me.. You know, there are times I doubted him.. Then he told me to hold on these words..

I want you to UNDERSTAND me, so that we won’t be fighting over a small matter; I want you to be HONEST with me so that you won’t be lying to me especially about your feelings; I want you to TRUST me so that we’re still together and loyal to each other..

After I heard those words, all my doubts towards him disappeared and I begin to love him more and more.. Every day, without fail, i keep on praying that our relationship lasts forever.. There’s nothing much I can do, so I keep asking GOD to look after him..”

I can see that she really loves him.. The way Reez convinced her really works.. Before this, I can sense that she’s not confident with herself.. She still can’t believe that she had a partner right now.. And that’s a part of her pessimistic side.. It’s almost twelve months they’re together now.. I haven’t hear any upset news from her.. Looks like they are getting along perfectly.. Or is she hiding something from me?? Well, maybe not.. I thought everything was perfect..


“You okay?”

“I’m fine.. Didn’t get enough sleep hehee..” she looked away..

“You were crying, right?”

“Hehee..Can’t hide from you eh?”

“Of course not.. You’re my ‘soul’ remember? Tell me what happened..”

“I got a call this morning..” she stared on her hand phone..


“Nope.. a girl.. she said she was his GF..”

“WHAT THE..??? Are you serious? What else did she tell you??”

“ Erm.. Nothing much actually.. Erm.. She asked me where am I and how long I have been with him.. I didn’t rise my voice though.. I thought to myself.. Probably he did some pranks on me.. Her voice is soft.. Softer than mine..” she spoke softly while firmly holding her hand phone..

“Okay.. What about him?? Did he tell you anything??”

“He knew that thing happened and he said don’t worry.. He said everything’s gonna make me smile..So, I thought that he did prank on me.. But….” Her tears started to fall on her cheek..

“But what? Hey.. ” I grabbed her hand..

“Last night.. I got a picture message from her.. It’s him.. and her..They were..Hugging..” She burst into tears..

“Oh my god.. Didn’t he tell you that he broke up with her ex-GF??”

“He did.. I asked him about that girl.. He told me that girl is only his ‘little sister’.. He said that.. That girl had a crush on him.. He admitted about taking that picture.. But only as a brother and sister..”

“I see..There there.. Enough crying dear.. It’s only her sister..”

“I know.. But.. It hurts so much.. I don’t know why, I couldn’t bear.. When I received that picture.. I was having chitchat with my grandmother.. My body was trembling.. I couldn’t hold my tears that time.. I.. I..”

“That’s okay.. No need to force yourself.. Let’s chill up with our favorite ice-cream.. My treat.. But you need to go to the washroom first.. You’re not gonna walk with that panda look..”

“Okay.. Be right back..” she wiped out her tears and went to the washroom..

As she walked to the washroom, suddenly I felt pain in my heart.. As if I could feel her pain right now.. She’s back to her pessimistic person again.. That’s why I stopped her from continuing her story.. I know what she’s gonna tell and I don’t want to hear that.. I just knew when she said “Her voice is soft.. Softer than mine..” As for now, I’ll try to make her happy.. She kept on looking on her hand phone and sighing.. I grabbed her hand phone from her hand..

“If you keep on like this, I won’t treat you anymore..”

“Okay hehee.. I want two Chocotops please..” she smiled..

“What?? You sure?? I’ll give you one and a half Chocotops then..”

“Ehh?? How is that??”

“I’ll buy three Chocotops.. One whole chocotop for you..and one whole chocotop for me..and the other one, I’ll eat half, the other half I’ll give it to you..” I laughed..

“Nuuuuu.. I want two!!” she shook her head aggressively..
“You couldn’t even finish one Chocotop..”

“Okay.. You got me.. I’ll take one only..”

“Hahaa.. Just joking.. Don’t take it seriously..”

“I’m not.. Besides, you’re a Chocotop lover..I’m sure one is not enough for you..”

“Hohoo I am..”

“That’s why you’re..”

“What?? Chubby?”

“I didn’t say that..”

“I know it.. Who cares?? Nobody will recognize me if I’m not chubby hehee..”

“Hahaa..Okay..You win..Come on, I’m craving for the ice-cream..”

I was beginning to worry about her.. I really hope things back to normal again.. She didn’t talk much about Reez as she used to.. Probably that incident really gave her a big impact.. But she never miss her daily routine.. Giving messages to him.. Making calls during midnight.. So, I thought they will be getting along.. Probably she doesn’t want me to worry..


“Hey.. Guess what? I got interesting news for you =)”

“And what is it? He’s gonna come and meet you? Hehee..”

“I’m single now =)” I calmed myself.. I checked my calendar.. D*mn.. Must be one of her prank on April Fool’s Day.. I tried to act normal as if I didn’t realize it was April Fool’s day and reply her messages..

“What?? You serious??”

“Yes, I am.. We broke up last night..”

“One of your pranks on April’s Fool huh?? Sorry, I won’t be fooled..”

“Hahaa.. How I wished it is.. He did prank on me.. But this time, the truth is revealed..”

“Huh??” I started to worry.. No.. It can’t be..

“Remember the girl that I mentioned before.. The one he claimed as his little sister?? That’s her real GF.. They have been together for a long time before me.. So, I decided to give up on him =)”

“What the h*ll?!? And you still giving me that =) emo?? What’s wrong with you??”

“Nothing’s wrong with me.. It’s better that way isn’t it?”

I know deep within her heart, she is still upset.. The tears that drops from her eyes is not because of she had to let go of him.. It’s the tears of a broken hearted girl, who was hoping of a true love, being deceived by a guy whom she loved so much.. The way he treated her, he fooled her and spoiled her first love.. It really hurts her a lot.. A lot worse than stabbing your heart with a knife.. She cried for two, three days after the incident.. As time passes by, she manages to control her emotions.. Her heart become stronger.. She is now surrounded by her close friends who always make her laugh and make her forget all those bitter memories.. She is making a lot of new friends and gradually makes her forget of her past.. But sometimes, she would feel lonely and started to be gloomy again..


She didn’t want to talk about it at first.. It takes a long time for her to recover.. Reez and his GF were together probably for three to four years long.. Both of them even have met their families. They had a big and serious quarrel and he thought of finding new one and planning to break up with his GF.. He had found the perfect person to replace his GF, which is Eff, but at the same time, his GF still wants him back.. He couldn’t make up his mind.. Unfortunately, his GF finds out that there’s someone who interrupts their relationship and tries to find out who is she - that is when his GF made a call and send pictures to Eff.. His GF had given him a hard time to cover up but he manage to do it by using ‘little sister’ and he gained Eff’s trust back.. His intention is still unknown till now..

“You know, I am really grateful that I broke up with him.. I keep on being deceived and having a fake love if this doesn’t happen sooner.. I admit it really hurts so much that I cried for three days.. You would probably say I’m selfish, I don’t care cause this is me.. I don’t want to be shared.. I felt really sorry for that girl.. No wonder she kept on threatening me..”

“Those memories with Reez are still roaming in my mind.. Reez.. If you could hear this, I just want you to know that I was really love you so much.. I was hoping we could be together.. I trusted you with all my heart.. I have told you that I won’t be mad at you if it happens that you actually already had a girlfriend.. I will let you go.. But you didn’t’ tell.. What was in your mind?? You are lucky if your GF still wants you back if she knows about this..But now.. ” she stopped and smiled..

“I have my family, my friends especially Reinn..Bobby.. Airis.. Zie.. AZ.. Sam..and of course, Tee.. If weren’t for you guys, I wouldn’t be smiling like you guys see me right now.. I was so hopeless that I wasted my tears for three days.. They made my day.. They taught me how to laugh again.. They brought my happiness and joy back.. I am grateful to God for saving me.. I am grateful for having you guys around me.. Thank you very much..”



“Ouch! That hurts..” A slight pain on my left arm snapped out of my thoughts.. I pouted and gave her a cold stare while rubbing the pain spot..

“People might think you’re insane..You were daydreaming again.. And you were smiling..”

“I did?? Sorry..” Eff stopped as we came across the Amusement Park.. Our eyes are focused on our favorite game arcade..

“Hey Tee..”

“I know what you’re thinking Eff..”

“Yeah!! Dance Dance Revolution!! Here we come!!” shouted Eff happily and run towards the Amusement Park.. This place is one of her memories with Reez, but Eff shows no sign of depression and regret.. I’m glad that she could overcome and able to let go her bitter memories of Reez..

“Hey Eff.. Look..” I poked to Eff as a fair skinned guy passed by, smiled to Eff..

“What??” asked Eff as she glared back at the guy..

“He’s smiling at you.. He’s kinda cute..”

“Naah.. Zack Fair’s cuter..” said Eff in a teasing way as she continued to smirk at me..

“Hey… He’s mine!!” I pouted at Eff for stealing my ‘dream guy’.. Eff laughed and raced to the Dance Dance Revolution arcade machine.. We enjoyed a lot during our hangout.. At least, she won’t have any time to think and recall her memories and the incident between her and Eff.. A quote popped out in my mind, and it fits perfectly on her..

“She is just a simple girl with a fragile heart =)”

*** THE END ***

Thursday, May 19, 2011

howdy-howdy 2011

aluu n assalam~ Photobucket

hohoo..dah berhabuk dah blog ku ini..
memandangkan dah berhabuk, ak pun uat tukaq skit baju blog ak nih..
a darker n gloomy version hehee..Photobucket
well, a bit resemble of myself actually..(not!! lalalaa~ )
lawa x?? Photobucket

this is just an introductory post for my 1st post in 2011..
n also nk merasmikan penggunaan template bru wekekee..
wahahaa yeah i'm serious..
this is my first post in 2011 wekekee..
my next post is under construction..


if u dont like spoilers, click skip this spoilers



it's gonna be a loooooooongggggg post..Photobucket
i dont mind if u dont want to read it coz..
is gonna take few hours to finish it..
wakakaa joking Photobucket
it's gonna be a plain post - no monkey speakers like this Photobucket
it's bout my feelings..
my life..
my thoughts lately..
yeah i know it's kinda boring so...





mentang ada blajar pasal anchor, trus apply..
guna notepad ok? hohoo..Photobucket
that's all for my first post..
thanks 4 reading Photobucket
tata n assalam~Photobucket

sengaja ak letak lagu gini..
bg korang exercise sikit kepala n badan tuh ekekee..
nak lgu nih? meh download

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